Fungus Among Us

A month(?) ago I said over in Twitterland I wanted to write some random tables for mushrooms, and some kind folks made encouraging noises. And then, after some speedbumps, I wrote the tables.

And then, because the universe continues to be utter pants, I never actually typed and posted said tables.

Oops.

So, here they are — not technically table-tables, because the formatting still hates me half the time and also these are (like a lot of my stuff) more numbered lists than anything else, but here. One for edible mushrooms, one for mushrooms with other interesting and not always entirely realistic (but sort of realistic!) uses. Some fun fungi for foraging characters, ha.

Edible Fungi

  1. Fire Wings: Thickly ruffled scallops, orange and rust, growing on tree trunks; earthy scent, tastes like mix of hazelnut and fresh bread; best sliced and fried
  2. Meadowlime Cap: Small, ribbed trumpets, violet-grey to violet, sometimes hard to spot; no noticeable scent; citrusy taste, stronger when dried
  3. Pincher’s Spice: Horn-like, fleshy growths, pale grey to ivory; no noticeable scent; edible if of indifferent taste, but dried to powder gives taste of red pepper and sea salt
  4. Boarcap: Thick cap with pores instead of gills, broad stem, yellowy-tawny; acidic scent; does not preserve well, but when thickly sliced and cooked have the taste of and nearly the texture of pork
  5. Burning Shaggy: Clusters of purplish irregular growths, like shredded dough; faintly fishy scent; unexpectedly firey, excellent chopped in garnishes or sprinkled as fine dice over meat dishes
  6. Phantom Cup: Ghostly-looking, translucent crescents of rubbery consistency, up to palm-sized, growing from shaded wood; mild earthy taste, not exciting but add welcome bulk and body to sustaining soups
  7. Meadow Meat: Handspan-tall trumpets, tawny coloured and fleshy; slightly meaty scent; dry readily and reconstitute well, grow in large numbers and take on the flavours of anything they are cooked with
  8. Faerie Cap: Nondescript brown cap and stem, no more than an inch across; bleeds bluish when cut, bruises blue; sweet caramel taste, intensified by drying or salting
  9. Scholar’s Fingers: Tall slender white stems, tubular pinkish-white caps; sweet scent; unappealing when raw, retain firm texture when cooked and gain refreshing, slightly vinegared taste that pairs well with greens
  10. Traveler’s Truffle: Knobbly, greenish-potato-looking things, pebbled when cut open, size of a fist to nearly one’s head; cook up mealy and salty-nutty, dense; will keep for days without preserving; grow in patches; avoid when sporing
  11. Earthmilch: Dark, almost black and slightly sticky caps, reddish shank; earthy scent; inedible raw, if cooked with liquify and give a creamy, milky taste that adds to casseroles
  12. Landshell: Globular, solid growths, pinkish on the inside, mottled grey exterior, up to two handspans in diameter; sliced thickly, can be fried or toasted like bread, and tastes like prawns

Useful or Notable Fungi

  1. Wychlight: Nearly spherical, brownish brackets the size of a thumb-joint that grow in clusters on pebbly ground; glow greeny-gold in darkness, a double handful equal to a candle
  2. Kindlercap: Low-growing, flat cap broad as a saucer, grey webbed reddish; pulled into shreds, dries swiftly and makes good tinder
  3. Tippler’s Hedge: Nondescript, delicate, white mushroom; dries into a lacy bit of a thing; dropped into any liquor, will absorb the alcohol, five fruiting bodies to a pint
  4. Calfmercy: Golden brown, deeply wrinkled and furrowed caps, stout shanks; a handful can be used instead of rennet to curdle cheese, giving a smoky, nutty tang as well
  5. Flourisher: Soft, spongy, thin-fleshed, conical cap of off-grey; the flesh will liquify within an hour of being plucked or cut away, being usable as shockingly bright purple ink
  6. Flourishing Deceiver: Closely related to the above, with white gills instead of grey — and if written with on parchment specifically, the ink will fade to nothingness after a day
  7. Gladepouch: If carefully peeled away without tearing, the outer, greenish skin of this double-fist-sized fruiting body can be used as a food casing when fresh, or a storage pouch when dried
  8. Fawn Balm: A knobbly-capped, brown, white-spotted specimen; bruises rust and oozes an orange, sticky fluid when cut that can clean and seal minor wounds
  9. Smithy-Cap: Not useful in and of themselves, these copper-blue, dense trumpets grow where metals have been buried under earth, loose stone or even plaster
  10. Crawlerbane: Amorphous lumps studded with gelatinous, oily spherules across their rusty flesh; piercing the spherules produces a fluid that repels insects
  11. The Cleanser: Ruffly clumps, orange and yellow, growing amongst mosses just about anywhere; crushed and rubbed against the skin (or anywhere else), act just like soap
  12. Bonfire Cap: Stout, thick growth, golden brown with cap covered by a thick, gelatinous pink layer; peel away the soft outside and pores, and the dense core will shockingly easily strike a flame (combine with x for even better results)

*please remember these are imaginary mushrooms. do not forage for mushrooms in the real world unless you are very very certain you know what you are doing.*

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